woking, guildford and online
Anxiety Therapy
Living with anxiety can be exhausting
Anxiety is more than simply worrying too much. It can leave you constantly on edge, overthinking conversations, anticipating the worst or finding it difficult to properly relax, even when you know you’re safe. For some people it comes in waves as panic attacks. For others, it’s a constant sense of tension that never quite switches off.
If this sounds familiar, you may already have a good understanding of your anxiety. You might recognise that your fears are stronger than what the situation calls for, yet your body continues to respond as though there is danger or something about to go wrong. That can be confusing, frustrating and debilitating. Many people begin to wonder why insight alone hasn’t changed the way they feel, and find themselves thinking, “I should be better by now.”
When this happens, it can feel as though your mind knows one thing, whilst your body believes another.
In my experience, anxiety often makes much more sense once we begin to understand what is keeping it going.
Therapy isn’t about getting rid of it altogether. It’s an important part of how we protect ourselves and prepare for situations that matter. The aim is to help your mind and body recognise when you are safe, so it is there when you need it, rather than becoming a constant part of everyday life.
I provide anxiety therapy in Woking, Guildford and online across the UK. Whether you’re looking for support in person or remotely, we’ll work together to understand what is contributing to your anxiety and decide on the therapeutic approach that best fits your needs.
You may recognise some of the following:
- Spending a lot of time overthinking or second-guessing yourself.
- Feeling constantly on edge or unable to relax.
- Finding it difficult to switch off, even when you're exhausted
- Feeling you're body react before you've had time to think.
- Knowing you are safe, but you're body doesn'y feel it.
- Avoiding certin situations because they feel overwhelming.
- Expecting the worst, even when things are going well.
If you recognise yourself in some of these experiences, you’re certainly not alone. Anxiety is one of the most common reasons people seek therapy.
Why understanding isn't always enough
One of the questions I hear most often is:
“If I know I’m safe, why do I still feel anxious?”
It’s a good question.
Many people already understand their anxiety. They know their worries are unlikely to happen. They recognise when they’re overthinking or expecting the worst. They may even understand where those patterns came from.
Yet despite all of that insight, their body continues to respond as though there is a genuine threat.
This can be incredibly frustrating.
People often begin to question themselves, wondering why they can’t simply think differently or put what they’ve learned into practice.
The reality is that understanding why you feel anxious and helping your mind and body respond differently are not always the same thing.
For some people, anxiety is maintained largely by current patterns of thinking and behaviour. For others, it may also reflect patterns that have become conditioned through earlier experiences. Those experiences don’t have to involve a single traumatic or overwhelming event. They may develop gradually through childhood, relationships, repeated stress, or other situations where the lower, more instinctive parts of the brain have become conditioned to stay alert in order to protect you.
When this happens, the thinking part of your brain may recognise that you’re safe, whilst the lower, more instinctive parts continue responding as though danger is still present.
That isn’t because you’re weak, irrational or failing. It’s because different parts of the brain can hold different information about safety, and those differences can persist when earlier experiences haven’t been fully processed.
This is where Trauma therapy may also help.
Can my anxiety get better?
The good news is that these patterns can change with the right conditions.
Our brains remain capable of change throughout our lives. Just as they can become conditioned through experience, they can also develop new ways of responding.
Therapy isn’t about forgetting the past or pretending difficult experiences never happened. It’s about helping your mind and body recognise that what once felt necessary for your protection may no longer be needed in the present.
As this happens, many people find themselves spending less time anticipating danger, recovering more quickly when they feel anxious, and gradually becoming more able to engage in everyday life without feeling constantly on guard.
There isn’t one right way to treat anxiety because there isn’t one reason people become anxious.
Part of my role is to understand what is contributing to your anxiety and work with you to decide on the therapeutic approach that best fits your needs.
What is therapy for anxiety like?
No two people experience anxiety in exactly the same way, so therapy shouldn’t follow a rigid formula. Although there are common patterns, my starting point is always to understand you as an individual rather than trying to fit your experiences into a particular model.
Our first sessions are about developing a shared understanding of what is happening.
We’ll explore what your anxiety feels like, what situations trigger it, how it affects your daily life, and what may be contributing to it. We’ll also discuss what you would like to achieve from therapy.
Different people respond to different therapeutic approaches, which is why I don’t believe in using the same therapy with everyone.
As our understanding develops, we’ll decide together which approach is most likely to help you. For some people, developing a better understanding of their experiences may be enough. For others, approaches such as EMDR or Deep Brain Reorienting (DBR) may be more helpful. Often, therapy involves integrating different approaches as your understanding develops.
Whatever approach we use, the aim remains the same.
Not simply to help you manage anxiety, but to understand and resolve the underlying processes that continue to drive it, helping you move towards a greater sense of safety, freedom and choice in everyday life.
How EMDR can help with anxiety
Although EMDR is best known as a therapy for trauma, it can also be highly effective for many forms of anxiety. This is because EMDR isn’t simply about treating traumatic events; it’s about helping the brain process experiences that continue to influence how you think, feel and respond in the present.
When working with anxiety, we begin by identifying the situations that trigger it today, along with the emotions, beliefs and body sensations that accompany those experiences. We then explore where those patterns may have originated and, where appropriate, use EMDR to help the brain process those experiences so they no longer continue to drive anxiety in the present.
As unresolved experiences become more adaptively processed, they are less likely to be reactivated by everyday situations. Many people find that their emotional responses become less intense, their body settles more quickly, and the negative beliefs that once felt true begin to lose their hold.
The aim of EMDR isn’t simply to reduce anxiety. It’s to help the brain resolve the experiences that continue to generate it.
As this happens, there is often less need for the brain to produce the symptoms that were once trying to protect you.
How Deep Brain Reorienting (DBR) can help with anxiety
Deep Brain Reorienting (DBR) is based on the understanding that early brainstem patterns can become established through overwhelming experiences and are then repeatedly activated by related triggers in the present. This means we don’t necessarily have to begin with the earliest experiences. Instead, we can begin with what is triggering your anxiety today.
Together, we identify the situations that currently trigger your anxiety, along with the emotions and body sensations that accompany those experiences. From there, we gradually work backwards, allowing the brain to follow those patterns to the earlier experiences that first shaped them.
I often describe this process as peeling back the layers of an onion.
We don’t begin with the deepest experiences. Instead, we work progressively, processing one layer at a time in a contained and tolerable way. As each layer resolves, many people begin to notice meaningful changes, often before reaching the earliest experiences.
DBR works with the brain’s earliest responses to overwhelming experiences, including shock, core emotional pain and the defensive responses that develop around them.
Rather than trying to change anxious thoughts directly, the aim is to resolve the deeper processes that continue to generate them.
As the brainstem sequence associated with overwhelming experiences resolves, the higher-level patterns of thinking that have been continually fuelled by these underlying processes often begin to settle.
Worry, overthinking and hypervigilance then often lessen, not because they have been managed directly, but because the processes driving them have begun to resolve.
The aim of DBR isn’t simply to help you manage anxiety. It’s to help resolve the underlying processes that continue to generate it.
As those processes resolve, the brain no longer needs to produce the symptoms that were once trying to protect you.
Do I have to have experienced trauma to develop anxiety?
No. You don’t have to have experienced what most people would consider a traumatic event to develop anxiety.
Anxiety is complex, and there is rarely a single explanation for why someone develops it.
For some people, anxiety is largely influenced by current life circumstances, patterns of thinking, personality, physical health or prolonged periods of stress. For others, earlier experiences may have shaped the way the brain responds to certain situations today.
Often, it is a combination of several different factors rather than one single cause.
When people hear the word trauma, they often think of major life events such as serious accidents, violence or abuse. Whilst experiences like these can certainly contribute to anxiety, they are not the only experiences that can leave a lasting impact.
Sometimes it is the accumulation of smaller but repeated experiences that shape how we respond to the world. Growing up in an unpredictable environment, feeling criticised, emotionally neglected, bullied, repeatedly rejected, or needing to stay constantly alert can all influence how the brain learns to recognise safety and danger.
Whether or not we would describe these experiences as trauma is often less important than understanding the impact they have had.
Rather than beginning with a label, I believe it is more helpful to understand how your experiences have shaped the way your brain has learned to respond, and then choose the therapeutic approach that is most appropriate for you.
This is why I don’t begin by assuming where your anxiety comes from.
Instead, we work together to understand your individual experiences and decide on the approach that is most likely to help.
For some people, developing a better understanding of their experiences may be enough. For others, therapies such as EMDR or Deep Brain Reorienting (DBR) may be more helpful in resolving the experiences that continue to influence life in the present.
Frequently Asked Questions
How many therapy sessions will I need?
There isn’t a simple answer because it depends on the nature of your anxiety, what has contributed to it and what you would like to achieve. Some people notice meaningful changes within a relatively short period of time, whilst others benefit from longer-term therapy. We can discuss this together during your initial session and review progress as we go.
Do I need to know why I’m anxious before starting therapy?
No. Many people come to therapy knowing they feel anxious but not fully understanding why. Part of the therapeutic process is working together to make sense of your experiences and identify what may be contributing to your anxiety.
Do I have to talk about everything that has happened to me?
No. Therapy should move at a pace that feels manageable for you. Whilst understanding earlier experiences can sometimes be an important part of the work, there is no expectation that you have to talk about everything immediately. We work together to decide what feels appropriate and when.
Is EMDR or Deep Brain Reorienting (DBR) right for everyone?
Not necessarily. Different people respond to different therapeutic approaches. During our assessment, we’ll explore what is contributing to your anxiety and discuss which approach is most likely to help you. Sometimes this may involve EMDR or Deep Brain Reorienting (DBR). At other times, a different therapeutic approach may be more appropriate.
Can I have therapy even if I haven’t experienced trauma?
Yes. Anxiety can develop for many different reasons. Some people have experienced clearly identifiable traumatic events, whilst others find that repeated life experiences, relationships or prolonged periods of stress have had a lasting impact. Therapy begins with understanding your individual experiences rather than fitting you into a particular category.
Do you offer online therapy for anxiety?
Yes. I offer both online and in-person therapy. During your assessment, we can discuss which option is likely to work best for you and your circumstances.
How do I get started?
If you’re considering therapy, the first step is to get in touch to arrange an initial consultation.
This gives us the opportunity to discuss what has been happening, answer any questions you may have, and consider whether working together feels like the right fit for you. There is no obligation to continue after the initial session, and I encourage people to take the time they need to decide whether they feel comfortable working with me.
Taking the first step
Living with anxiety can be exhausting, particularly if it has been part of your life for a long time. You may have tried to understand it on your own, developed ways of managing it, or even had therapy before, yet still find yourself asking why it continues to return.
The good news is that these patterns can change with the right conditions.
Our brains remain capable of change throughout our lives. Just as they can become conditioned through experience, they can also develop new ways of responding.
You don’t need to have all the answers before starting therapy. You don’t even need to know exactly why you feel anxious. Together, we can work to understand what may be contributing to your anxiety and decide on the therapeutic approach that best fits your needs.
Whether your anxiety is linked to recent events, earlier life experiences, or a combination of different factors, therapy offers an opportunity not simply to manage the symptoms, but to better understand and resolve what continues to drive them.
If you’ve recognised yourself in what you’ve read and are wondering whether therapy could help, you’re welcome to get in touch.
An initial consultation gives us the opportunity to discuss what has been happening, answer any questions you may have, and consider whether working together feels like the right fit for you.